Welcome back! Now that you know my backstory and how I became mired in procrastination, imposter syndrome and self-sabotage, check out this episode to learn how I successfully pulled myself out in order to begin fully walking in my purpose! I am not completely where I want to be, but I am also not where I used to be, that’s for sure!
You can also free yourself from imposter syndrome, procrastination, self-sabotage and feeling STUCK by applying these principles to your life.
In this episode, I will give you a high-level overview of the Pop Principles. The entire podcast and everything I do will be based off of these principles. They are: 1. Prayer 2. The Zone of Proximal Greatness 3. Mindset Doesn’t Matter 4. The Morning Promise 5. Your Purpose is in the Edges
Don’t worry…we will be delving into these in great detail in future episodes.
Download the planning for procrastinators guide here!
Hey, #POPSQUAD! In this episode, you’ll learn more about my backstory: how I FAILED the first 6 months of residency, received the worst and best feedback of my life, and intentionally changed my narrative. This episode will encourage you in your journey toward walking in your purpose!
Download the planning for procrastinators guide here!
Hey, #POPSQUAD! Ready for the tea? In this episode, you will learn my backstory: my life growing up with a single mother and an absent father in California, the bullying I sustained in elementary school, and how all of that led to deep insecurity and self-sabotage. You’ll even learn about my connection to the television show, Insecure!
In order to fully appreciate where I am now as I walk in my purpose, you have to know where I came from. I hold NOTHING BACK because…we’re family now.
Download the planning for procrastinators guide here!
Many of us envision the life that we want to live→ the mansion, yacht, kids, cars, money, travel, financial freedom, new job, etc.
However, since there is often no immediate way to obtain all of our wildest dreams (short of hitting the lottery), it feels completely unattainable.
It feels wonderful to daydream about our wildest dreams, but when the dream i over and you wake up, look around, and take stock of your life, you quickly realize that you are in the exact same place.
With no identifiable way to get from point A to point B, we simply relegate all of our hopes and dreams to our Future Self.
Let’s talk about our Future Self.
Future Dr. Kimmy is DOPE, y’all.
She is a healthy, skinny, wealthy, well-put-together mom and 7-figure business owner who is CRUSHING life and exercises 4-5 days per week while doing intermittent fasting.
She also actually opens and organizes her emails.
Every morning that I sleep in…every day that I skip an exercise…every day that I ignore my inbox, I simply assign that task to my Future Self.
Here’s the problem: My Tomorrow Self becomes my Today Self, and if I don’t actually do those things today, then I will never actually make progress on my goals.
What if there was a way to move toward your goals? To ACTUALLY look back at your year and say “I did all of the things that I said I wanted to do and I have made so much progress!”
There is a way!
Here’s the key: Instead of focusing on becoming the ultimate person that we want to become (hear me out, guys!), we simply focus on getting into our Zone of Proximal Greatness. If we focus only on getting into our Zone of Proximal Greatness, we will continue to move forward.
Picture a football player. They are absolutely trying to move into the endzone and score a touchdown. However, they do so ten yards at a time, trying to score a First Down. They focus on that small, measurable endpoint in front of them. Great players stay focused on the first down. If you score 10 first downs, well…there’s your touchdown!
(Y’all football fanatics don’t come for me if I’ve said something incorrectly! The analogy WORKS! LOL)
This is the complete opposite of what we typically do. We typically start each year with big, huge, lofty goals.
Many of us even attach them to a vision board to stare at for the year.
My 2019 goals are a perfect example of this. Here’s a short list of my goals that I wrote down this past January.
In 2019 I will increase my credit score to 720
In 2019 I will be authentically ME
In 2019 I will prioritize my home and family, as they are my first ministry
In 2019 Adrian and I will purchase my first home
In 2019 I will submit 4 manuscripts for my job
In 2019 I will utilize the courses that I have purchased
In 2019 I will open my mail weekly
In 2019 I will go to my therapist twice per month
In 2019 I will become physically active, physically the fittest I’ve ever been
I am a Pediatric Hospitalist. That means I treat sick kids who are hospitalized and take care of newborn babies when they are first born (yes…it’s as cute and cuddly as it sounds!)
I love this blog and the community that I m building, and believe that I am living out my purpose.
However, I also very much enjoy my clinical work. It is also a calling Nd a part of my purpose in life.
When I am doing both of these things, I feel fulfilled. I am walking in alignment.
What is alignment?
The actual definition of alignment is “a state of agreement or cooperation among persons, groups, nations, etc., with a common cause or viewpoint.” (source: dictionary.com)
I love this definition because it truly is a “state of agreement”.
I am in alignment when what I do matches what I am supposed to do.
I’m out of alignment when what I do does not match what I am supposed to do.
What am I supposed to do? live out my purpose.
It’s just that simple.
Being in alignment does not necessarily mean that you will always see the fruits of your labor right away.
In fact, you may NEVER see the fruit of your labor-that does not necessarily mean that you are out of alignment with your purpose.
Alignment is about the PROCESS of walking in your purpose, not necessarily the results.
Consider this example. As I mentioned, I I am a Hospitalist. I only see kids for a very short period of time when they’re sick and in the hospital. I also only take care of newborn babies for the first 2-3 days after they are born.
When I am leaving the room of my kids who were sick and now improved, or I am leaving the room of a newborn baby and their parents, I often say to them “Bye! I never want to see you in this hospital again!” I say this because if I see them in the hospital again, it is likely because they are ill and require hospitalization.
Rounds take hours. There is lots of mental work involved, including listening to parents and patients, doing physical examinations, teaching residents and medical students, counseling, coordination of care, helping moms breastfeed, etc.
How absolutely CRAZY would it be if someone looked at the work I do in the hospital and said “There is no way that you are fulfilling your purpose. You don’t even see the results of the hard work you put in for those kids!”
Alignment is about the process.
I don’t see the immediate outcome of helping a mother to breastfeed. However, I know that this child is less likely to be obese, will have less respiratory diseases, is less likely to get cancer, etc.
We live in an outcomes-driven culture. Outcomes do matter.
However, your purpose is in the process.
When I post to instagram, I am usually posting a very transparent video or caption of a picture. I sometimes get 5 comments and a few likes.
It would be easy to say-well, this CAN’T be purpose work. Five comments!!! How is it that I am baring my soul and only impacting 5 people, 3 of which are likely a family member or a friend?
However, what about the folks that internalize my videos but don’t feel comfortable posting? Those people are still being impacted.
Also, if I go through this life helping 5 people walk fully in their purpose, who knows how many people they will impact?
What if one of the 5 starts a nonprofit organization that touches the lives of thousands because they were inspired by my IG post”?
If you are walking in your purpose, then you are in alignment, regardless of the short term outcomes you can or cannot see just yet.
Your efforts can be multiplied without your knowledge, and you are likely impacting more people than you can quantify.
Just the process of walking in your purpose unapologetically can give someone else the courage to do the same-and who knows how many people you can impact through that person fulfilling their purpose work.
Trouble finding out what your purpose is? Sign up to our email list! I have an amazing resource coming that will help you to get in alignment with your true purpose.
However, deep down, I knew that I was not living up to my full potential.
I was an anxiety-ridden, procrastinating, self-sabotaging MESS. Imagine waking up everyday without a plan, stumbling through the day, not getting anything done, putting out fires from prior episodes of procrastination, and coming home mentally-drained and exhausted from the anxiety and stress.
This was my day to day existence.
I spent a lot of time reading affirmations, watching youtube videos on productivity, and trying to change my mindset.
Why couldn’t I shake the stagnation and overwhelm?
I just couldn’t put one foot in front of the other in order to move forward. In fact, I couldn’t even figure out what moving forward meant.
My 36th birthday started out with me crying buckets of tears at my dining room table. I was crying because it was the first birthday without my beautiful mother. But I was also crying out of shame.
The thoughts that ran through my mind were: what am I doing with my life? Who am I? Who do I want to be? What is my purpose here on this earth and why am I not fulfilling it?
After praying and crying I turned on youtube to try and quiet my mind. Amy Landino was the first video I saw. Amy was interviewing Mel Robbins, who wrote the book “The Five second Rule”. I wrote an entire blog post about this day and this moment and how it changed my life so I won’t go into it here.
Sufficeth to say that, once I began using the 5-second rule and started getting things done, my confidence grew. With time I changed and transformed into the person that I wanted to be.
That change and transformation was through the DOING.
When you’re about to do something new or something that makes you anxious, your brain will do anything to get you to stop.
Your brain does not want you to do this new scary, anxiety-ridden thing, because our brain wants to protect us.
Think about it: when our ancestors were doing something new or scary (ie leaving the cave to go hunting), their brains knew that getting their heart rate increased and their palms sweaty would slow them down and get them to rethink leaving the cave. Keeping our forefathers in the cave could mean that we avoid being eaten by a lion, a tiger, or a bear.
However…if your ancestors didn’t overcome those feelings, they would essentially starve to death.
Nowadays, hunting and gathering are not what cause us anxiety. We are anxious when we think about talking to our boss about a promotion or a raise. Our palms sweat profusely right before we upload new content to Instagram. The palpitations arise when our new blog post is about to go live.
The inputs are different, but the fear response remains the same. Your brain is trying to protect you.
So, what do we do?
We shut down. Procrastinate. We make elaborate plans but never actually implement them.
You avoid opening the emails (by “you” I mean ME).
So, how can we overcome this?
The goal is to break down all of the things that you have to do into very small, measurable steps that are less scary and less overwhelming, so that our brain doesn’t shut us down.
Here’s what I mean when I say that mindset doesn’t matter: I can recite 30 affirmations when I sit at my computer to open my emails. Even if I sit down with the best of intentions and feeling super motivated…
My palms are still going to sweat and my heart is still going to race. If I don’t have some way of overcoming that, my brain will get me to do whatever it can to get rid of that anxiety. So, I’ll start:
Scrolling social media
Watching a youtube video
Talking with my coworker for an hour
Etc. etc. etc.
Here’s a better way to deal with that.
I take out my bullet journal and write down the smallest number of emails I can open without anxiety: I usually start with 5, knowing that 3 will likely be junk and 2 will be something that I need to respond to. Five emails doesn’t seem overwhelming.
I then check the 5 emails and check-in with myself. Usually, I think to myself: It wasn’t even that bad, Kim!!! Why have you been avoiding this?!
That check-in moment is what helps my mind overcome the anxiety because…I did it! Five emails dealt with. Now I am breathing easier and I have less palpitations.
Ok…let’s do 5 more!
The next thing I know, all 30 emails have been checked and I am moving on to the next thing.
Here is another example.
I started a facebook group called the #nosnoozecrew. The purpose of the group is to encourage people to keep the first promise that they make to themselves. If you break that first promise to yourself when you get up in the morning, I believe that this has a ripple effect throughout the day.
Your day starts off in disarray, you are ripping and running, stressed and frazzled.
When this group began, I could have asked them to recite affirmations before they go to bed in order to encourage them to not hit the snooze button.
I’m the master of my morning. I am going to keep my promise to myself. I love myself, and I deserve peace. I am deserving of a great day. I deserve to be productive.
What did I do instead? I had the members set a very small goal: set your alarm for the time that you usually snooze until. When your alarm goes off, say “5…4…3…2…1” and get up.
Small. Measurable. Realistic.
Guess what happened-people stopped snoozing and reported having amazing days! They are now more peaceful, they have energy throughout the day, and they mastering their lives by mastering their mornings.
You may be thinking: “Kim, how does thistie in with scriptures? Is the bible not going to help us reach our goals? It’s basically a book of affirmations.”
I’m SO glad you asked!
James 2:20 (KJV) But wilt thou know, O vain man, that faith without works is dead?
This is why I absolutely love the bible. It addresses this notion head on. Read James 2:14-26. In verses 15-17, it essentially says that it is completely irresponsible to tell a brother or sister who is hungry and naked empty affirmations without doing the work to get them what they need to survive.
Faith without works is dead.
Affirmations without action is useless.
After you start doing the work, absolutely utilize those affirmations to encourage yourself to keep going! Maybe instead of “5…4…3…2…1” you say your favorite affirmation to help get you moving. The one that I have been saying recently is “I am allowed” and then I do the thing that scares me.
Your affirmations should help propel you into action.
They should be the metacognitive strategy (link to definition) that you say to move you into action.
Sticky-note affirmations alone aren’t going to cut it.
Try it out! What day to day tasks gives you anxiety? Break it down into extremely small, bite-sized pieces that aren’t as overwhelming. Write down what you will do. If you feel yourself getting stuck or that you are avoiding the task, say “5…4…3…2…1” and just GO. Do the thing. After it is done, reflect and check-in with yourself. I bet you’ll realize that it wasn’t nearly as hard as you thought! This will help motivate you to keep going.
If you are having trouble breaking down your goals or you simply want additional help with this process, email me at email@example.com. I am here for you!